There is a strange paradox in exhaustion. At once, one feels a primal, despairing physical weariness, while also sensing a vast spiritual plain. It's almost as if--instead of thinking, rationalizing and plotting a logical response, we are simply reacting on the most basic instincts.

Let's face it: as spiritual beings, we respond spiritually to our most basic needs. We seek to survive, to protect and to maintain. We aren't planning, praying creatures in those moments. We are simply moving. 

Over the past several weeks (couple of months) I have both felt moments of exhaustion in myself and observed it in others. Primal exhaustion. The kind where your body begs for sleep and your heart aches to not feel ANYTHING. (I have also had some really, really, really rested and rejoicing days. And I am surrounded by amazing people, family and friends who allow me to be real and who keep me grounded. Lest you think I am at the intersection of "Numb" and "Depths of Despair" rather than on the steady incline of "Perspective". 

While I could be philosophical and boring, I would rather share some of the quotes and comments that have spoken to me and kept my spiritual perspective intact: (disclaimer: I will attempt to give credit where it is due, but in some instances just latched on to the language instead of who wrote it. If there are corrections, please post them in comments.)

• "Jesus liked messy. He tended to run toward it. We think of the disciples he chose to do ministry with, the stories of the misfits and the outcasts he loved so well. He gravitated toward people that didn't have their crap together."  -Jamie the Very Worst Missionary www.theveryworstmissionary.com
• "Limp, anemic sentiments will not stand in the face of a world that is not as it should be." -From One Degree to Another www.natepyle.com
• "Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine, I'll taste your strawberries; I'll drink your sweet wine. A million tomorrows shall all pass away 'ere I forget all the joy that is mine today." -This was on Lydia West's FB wall. I don't know who the original author is. 
• "God doesn't sit anywhere with a big wand moving mountains and directing job interviews and making my hair turn out decent today.  God instead sits in our spirits and we move, God moves, ideas move, hopes move......." -My very own wise sister-wife cousin, Tonya. You can view her blog here.
• “I must learn to love the fool in me – the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.  It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool.” -Theodore I. Rubin, MD. Also found and posted by my cousin in a guest post on another favorite blog, www.femonite.com.

There are a lot of really painful, tragic stories around me every day. There is an equal portion of triumph, even in the broken faces of those who choose to keep moving, just to be moving. 

I choose to see them, really see them, and respond. I refuse to put my head in the sand and ignore the Namaste of those around me just because it is uncomfortable to look at them, just because I don't think I have the emotional energy. Even on the days I am tapped-out and am only moving with them.