My Olympics

Watching the Summer Olympics inspires me to be more active and attempt athletic-type things. But the reality is simply this:


I could NEVER do that. 


While I like to be active, my abilities are limited with average (and even slightly below-average) performance at waaaayyyy above-average effort. 


I propose a new Olympic event. It's called Mom-lympics. The events will be as follows:


1. Moving Target Pigtails
2. Work-Family Balance Beam
3. Couch Cushion Diving
4. Swimming in Circles (a specific rule here is that you may only use one limb for actually swimming, and must have at least 4 kids you are responsible for)
5. Wet Toddler Steeple Chase
6. Speed Stain Removal
7. Matching Sock Search
8. Creative Drinking
9.  Unevenly Matched Bars
10. Weightlifting (you have to lift each of your children 10 times while singing a Disney tune)


Gold is awarded to the parent who is still laughing at the end.