Balancing Momism

If there is a reason I seem scattered when you talk to me, it's probably because there is one. Actually, five:

1. Clay 

2. Tyler 

3. Liam 

4. Gracie 

5. Memorial Health System 

You will eventually see photos and get a glimpse into the first four if you decide to follow this blog--like watching someone wreck on their bike and you just can't look away. (Trust me. My husband owns a bike shop. I've witness a few spectacular crashes.) 

The last is my job, to which I've obligated 40 hours of my life every week. I won't bore you with the details; just trust me that working within any healthcare system that actually cares about patients is like having a very large orangutan with ADHD shackled to your wrist in an angry law office. You turn a few heads, for better or worse. 

There is a constant balancing act, and I'm never dead-center perfect. NEVER. Lately I even feel like there might even be a teeter-totter under me, or one of those labyrinth games where you have to get the ball in the hole and keep slinging it back and forth on either side but never in. 

It is, admittedly, frustrating. I cram a weeks worth of laundry into a day and a half every weekend. I try to cram a day's worth of meaningful conversation with my family into the few minutes between dinner, homework, piano and bedtime. 

Don't get me wrong--I wouldn't trade it. Not right now, anyway. (And I don't want to imply that moms who don't have a job outside the home don't work: people who say that just want an uninformed and lame excuse to be jealous.) Some of the funniest things my kids have said are in those moments between. And I know that someday, when they're grown, I will want this back. I've also learned to laugh at myself more, when the lines between my home and job cross at odd moments.

For example, I recently answered one child who told me the computer wasn't working, "Do you want me to come look work next Wednesday for you?" I was typing an email about a meeting as I was talking. And I have been known to ask my co-workers if they needed to go potty. I've shown up to work with my scrubs inside out. I've gone out in public with silly-putty stuck to my butt. And at an early morning meeting last week when one of the doctors said 'good morning how are you', I think I answered, "Coffee." 

At my annual evaluation last week, my boss told me that I was one of the people she observes and tries to learn from in terms of being thoughtful when she speaks. I think she thinks I'm really that sensitive to other peoples' needs. I didn't have the nerve to tell her that I'm really just trying to not make a fool out of myself. 

So, I'll raise this 2pm cuppa joe to all my kindred balancing moms out there. Send me your best balancing momisms, and we'll revel in the camaraderie.

Saturday. 

Surely today will be productive. Surely I'll be able to start on that list of projects. (Like writing a profound and prolific first blog entry.) Surely I'll be able to . . . .

Saturday.

What am I thinking? The longer the list in my head gets the more unhappy and driven I become, and miss these moments of joy. 

So instead, here is my list of things that might get done today . . . or might not . . . 

• laundry (always. This is a permanent item that often gets ignored simply because I don't like it, sort of like going to the dentist.)
• turn the garden (my dear husband bought the good nutrient type garden-y soil stuff that is supposed to make the soil better for growing--but he's working and then is going on a bike trip)
• visit with a friend I promised I'd meet soon but haven't worked up the nerve to call yet
• start making skirts for my nieces for their birthday (it's not till July 6th. I have to get a head start. But, if I'm honest, the stuff will probably be sitting on my counter until July 3rd.) 
• pick up, tidy, vacuum (I work full time, as does my husband. This only happens on Saturdays. Sometimes not even then. So. If you come visit, you have to keep your eyes half closed if you are a clean-freak OCD germaphobe. Acutally, maybe you shouldn't come visit. Lets just meet somewhere.)

But. It's Saturday.

So first, I'm going to finish my coffee. And then play with my kids. After all, I want my face to look like this:

   Make a joyful noise unto the Lord!  (especially if you are still in your pajamas.)